extravagant love come down

I sought for approval
In the eyes of man
And I failed terribly
People look at me
With standards of this world
Standards I can never attain
Stick-thin beauty
Artificial layers
Porcelain skin
I never ever was

I sought for approval
In the eyes of those whom I care about
Time I took
Effort I put in
Heart I gave
Overlooked
Neglected
Pushed aside
Underappreciated
Called weak
Always standing in the shadows of somebody else
I’m never quite enough it seems
Will they ever hear my cry
Or have I not tried hard enough

In the quiet You came and whispered
“I know your heart inside out, my dear child
I know when you sing about Me,
your heart sings with all of its strength, all of its might, all of its soul.
I know you have a pure heart that’s for Me, My child.
Do not listen to the voices of others,
Turn your ear to Me.
You are beautiful
Your thick black hair
Your big brown eyes
Your melodious voice
This creation I’ve made with My own hands
I love you with all My heart
I hold you with both My hands
I’m molding you into who I’ve designed you to be.
Ice shards falling away
This frozen rose with no thorns
Blooming into full color
This is what I’ve had in mind all along.
A heart that is full of love, full of beauty
That is abundant to give freely, bloom freely
A rose,
No other flower that is quite as beautiful as you are.”

© ayxt 7.6.2008

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Haha I’m exhausted from all the crying. From this new level broken-ness that God has brought me to. Things that I didn’t know were hurting me. Now I do. And I am fighting it with His strength and His love. Nothing can hold me down anymore.